Dear Laine,
My husband got not one, but TWO tickets on the same day (less than an hour apart) because his tag blew off of his utility trailer he uses for work. Now he has to go to court. I think he should tell the judge that if he would explain how making a hard-working citizen pay two fines for what was really an act of God is protecting the community in any way, then we'd be happy to pay the fine, otherwise he should forget about it. What do you think?
Signed,
Ticked Over the Tickets
Dear Ticked,
That approach might be a good thing ONLY if a contempt of court charge and a visit to the county jail is on your husband's bucket list. If not, I wouldn't recommend it. Judges, like most folks, do not like ultimatums. I say why tempt fate? That judge may be itching to prove a point and bad attitude like that will only offer yourself as guinea pig for that experiment.
And if I may, I think you are failing to see the main point here which is this: if the tag had been secured properly, it would not have blown off in the first place. The law says the trailer must have a tag. Your husband's didn't. End of discussion.
Now the judge may or may not dismiss the charges--depending on the reason your husband gives and his attitude and the judge's personality. My advice (though I am no lawyer, just offering some common horse sense here) is to acknowledge the mistake, prove that steps have been taken to insure it never happens again, show remorse for the error and don't blame the cops and MAYBE you walk. Of course, if the cops don't show up for court, it may all be dismissed anyway. GOOD LUCK!!
Decidedly,
Laine
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Teens dating at home..is this "normal?"
Dear Laine,
My daughter is 17 and her boyfriend is 16 1/2. They are both good kids and I've never had any problems with their dating. The problem is they never actually 'date' outside of our home. They are always together, but they are here with my husband and me. They are never left alone in a bedroom or anything like that. We cook dinner together and play board games and sometimes watch a DVD. On the rare occasion they do go out, it is usually just to a movie or to grab a burger and then right back to our house.
My question is, IS THIS NORMAL?
My husband says it isn't, but since he knows where they are and what they're doing, he isn't worried. I'm just concerned they are hanging around with us to avoid being tempted to have sex.
What do YOU think?
Signed,
Concerned Mom of a Teen
Dear Concerned Mom,
Are you KIDDING ME? Your daughter actually WANTS to spend time with you playing games and watching television and you are worried it's to avoid having sex with her boyfriend? And you want to know what I think? OK..here it is:
BE HAPPY your child isn't doing everything under the sun to avoid spending time with you and your husband so that she CAN have sex with her boyfriend. Be HAPPY she has a boyfriend who, apparently anyway, enjoys being with her when all her clothes are still on her body! Be HAPPY they both have nothing to PROVE by getting pregnant before they are 18.
I say invest in some new board games. You don't want them getting bored with the ones you have. Use that time to talk to them about what is really important in a relationship--trust, respect, friendship--the things only TIME can foster properly.
Then count your blessings!!
That's my plugged nickel's worth on it,
Good luck!
Laine
My daughter is 17 and her boyfriend is 16 1/2. They are both good kids and I've never had any problems with their dating. The problem is they never actually 'date' outside of our home. They are always together, but they are here with my husband and me. They are never left alone in a bedroom or anything like that. We cook dinner together and play board games and sometimes watch a DVD. On the rare occasion they do go out, it is usually just to a movie or to grab a burger and then right back to our house.
My question is, IS THIS NORMAL?
My husband says it isn't, but since he knows where they are and what they're doing, he isn't worried. I'm just concerned they are hanging around with us to avoid being tempted to have sex.
What do YOU think?
Signed,
Concerned Mom of a Teen
Dear Concerned Mom,
Are you KIDDING ME? Your daughter actually WANTS to spend time with you playing games and watching television and you are worried it's to avoid having sex with her boyfriend? And you want to know what I think? OK..here it is:
BE HAPPY your child isn't doing everything under the sun to avoid spending time with you and your husband so that she CAN have sex with her boyfriend. Be HAPPY she has a boyfriend who, apparently anyway, enjoys being with her when all her clothes are still on her body! Be HAPPY they both have nothing to PROVE by getting pregnant before they are 18.
I say invest in some new board games. You don't want them getting bored with the ones you have. Use that time to talk to them about what is really important in a relationship--trust, respect, friendship--the things only TIME can foster properly.
Then count your blessings!!
That's my plugged nickel's worth on it,
Good luck!
Laine
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Dear Laine,
I have an issue with the way my pastor has handled a situation involving my children and I don't know what to do about it.
My children are teens and are very active in our church's youth program as are the pastor's two children and the son of one of our deacons. These particular kids tend to sit together during services and at any church related function we may have off church property as well.
A couple of weeks ago, during worship service, the pastor's wife shushed the kids rather loudly and embarrassed the deacon's son. The deacon's wife was very upset that the pastor's wife corrected her child when it was the pastor's girls who were giggling and making loud noises.
This past Wednesday night, the pastor gave a rather stern lecture to the teens about how to behave in church and made rather pointed comments that were aimed directly at my children and the deacon's son. The pastor's girls were not even in attendance at this service. The deacon's wife walked out of the service taking her son with her. My children were left to hear the rest of the pastor's stern lecture when they were not the ones involved in the incident (I was sitting two rows behind them and saw that they were not involved) I feel the pastor should have spoken to the parents first or at least made sure his own children were there.
My children are rather upset that they bore the brunt of the lecture when they had committed none of the infraction and are refusing to go to church this Sunday. What do I do? I feel trapped in the middle. HELP!
Signed,
Trying to be a good Baptist
Dear Trying,
On a side note:
This reminds me of a joke my minister uncle used to tell.
Why are the deacon's children such brats? They hang around with the pastor's kids too much!
To the answer you asked for:
I have a two-part question for you and maybe by answering you will find the solution to your problem as I see it.
When you walk into that church, do you stop being their MOTHER and do you check your backbone at the door?
Why should you allow anyone, pastor, principal, father, etc., to berate your children when you do not deem it necessary? Who gave birth to those kids, you or the pastor? I think the deacon's wife was dead-on the money when she spoke loud and clear her objections to the pastor's behavior by walking out taking her child with her.
Dr. Phil may have coined this phrase but he did not invent the sentiment, "You teach people how to treat you." Anytime you are faced with a situation where someone is not treating you the way you wish to be treated and you do not speak up and let them know, you are allowing it to continue. By accepting this treatment of your children without speaking up for them, you are sending them a very clear message as well, "We are not worthy of Mom's time and energy to protect our reputations." Is that the message you want your children to receive?
I say the pastor owes your children an apology--as openly as he gave the admonishment not in private. He should be man enough and Christian enough to realize his error and make amends for it. If he is not willing to do so, then I say go shopping for another church.
Sounds like the pastor's wife may have had more to do with that little Wednesday night sermon than anything else. And I think I'd be telling her if she has issues with my children's behavior and they are not in a dangerous situation at the time she is not to correct them, but speak to me. If I deem their behavior worthy of admonishment, I will be the one to administer it as well.
Separating your children from the pastor's kids from now on might not be a bad idea either. Sounds to me as if they might not be the best influence.
I wish you luck. Being raised in the Southern Baptist church myself I know how hard it can be for some women to remember where their backbones are. I hope you find yours soon and don't ever forget you have one again!
Laine
I have an issue with the way my pastor has handled a situation involving my children and I don't know what to do about it.
My children are teens and are very active in our church's youth program as are the pastor's two children and the son of one of our deacons. These particular kids tend to sit together during services and at any church related function we may have off church property as well.
A couple of weeks ago, during worship service, the pastor's wife shushed the kids rather loudly and embarrassed the deacon's son. The deacon's wife was very upset that the pastor's wife corrected her child when it was the pastor's girls who were giggling and making loud noises.
This past Wednesday night, the pastor gave a rather stern lecture to the teens about how to behave in church and made rather pointed comments that were aimed directly at my children and the deacon's son. The pastor's girls were not even in attendance at this service. The deacon's wife walked out of the service taking her son with her. My children were left to hear the rest of the pastor's stern lecture when they were not the ones involved in the incident (I was sitting two rows behind them and saw that they were not involved) I feel the pastor should have spoken to the parents first or at least made sure his own children were there.
My children are rather upset that they bore the brunt of the lecture when they had committed none of the infraction and are refusing to go to church this Sunday. What do I do? I feel trapped in the middle. HELP!
Signed,
Trying to be a good Baptist
Dear Trying,
On a side note:
This reminds me of a joke my minister uncle used to tell.
Why are the deacon's children such brats? They hang around with the pastor's kids too much!
To the answer you asked for:
I have a two-part question for you and maybe by answering you will find the solution to your problem as I see it.
When you walk into that church, do you stop being their MOTHER and do you check your backbone at the door?
Why should you allow anyone, pastor, principal, father, etc., to berate your children when you do not deem it necessary? Who gave birth to those kids, you or the pastor? I think the deacon's wife was dead-on the money when she spoke loud and clear her objections to the pastor's behavior by walking out taking her child with her.
Dr. Phil may have coined this phrase but he did not invent the sentiment, "You teach people how to treat you." Anytime you are faced with a situation where someone is not treating you the way you wish to be treated and you do not speak up and let them know, you are allowing it to continue. By accepting this treatment of your children without speaking up for them, you are sending them a very clear message as well, "We are not worthy of Mom's time and energy to protect our reputations." Is that the message you want your children to receive?
I say the pastor owes your children an apology--as openly as he gave the admonishment not in private. He should be man enough and Christian enough to realize his error and make amends for it. If he is not willing to do so, then I say go shopping for another church.
Sounds like the pastor's wife may have had more to do with that little Wednesday night sermon than anything else. And I think I'd be telling her if she has issues with my children's behavior and they are not in a dangerous situation at the time she is not to correct them, but speak to me. If I deem their behavior worthy of admonishment, I will be the one to administer it as well.
Separating your children from the pastor's kids from now on might not be a bad idea either. Sounds to me as if they might not be the best influence.
I wish you luck. Being raised in the Southern Baptist church myself I know how hard it can be for some women to remember where their backbones are. I hope you find yours soon and don't ever forget you have one again!
Laine
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Baby's Due Date Puts Bride's Day at Risk
Dear Laine,
I am getting married in January and have been planning my wedding for several months. My best friend since elementary school is my maid-of-honor and has done so much to help me with the planning and the little details. I am so grateful to her for all that work. She recently found out she is pregnant and due very close to the time of my upcoming wedding. My parents think I should ask her to step down as my maid-of-honor and choose someone else, but I don't want to damage my friendship with her at a time when we both should be our happiest.
I don't want my wedding ruined by not having a maid-of-honor or having her going into labor at the alter, but I can't imagine getting married without her there where she belongs either. HELP! What do I do?
Signed,
Bride-to-Be Friendless?
Dear Friendless?,
It sounds to me as if you have already answered your own question, you are just looking for someone to give you permission to follow your heart and act on it. If this girl is your friend, I'm surprised she has not offered to step aside as your maid-of-honor because I'm sure she has done the math as well.
What you could do is ask her if she thinks it would be a good idea for you to pick a 'stand-in' for her in case the baby has timing issues and shows up at a bad time. Let her pick the stand-in! Even get a photo of her blown up to life size and have a cardboard cut-out made so that in the event your friend cannot be in attendance at your wedding, she can still be represented there.
Do what your heart tells you is the RIGHT thing--even if others think it tacky! If you really want your friend there and can think of no one you'd rather has as your maid-of-honor, then either change the wedding date to insure it goes off without labor pains or run the risk of her not being there because she had a more pressing engagement.
Good luck and congrats on the upcoming nuptials! I wish you a long and happy marriage!
Blissfully,
Laine
I am getting married in January and have been planning my wedding for several months. My best friend since elementary school is my maid-of-honor and has done so much to help me with the planning and the little details. I am so grateful to her for all that work. She recently found out she is pregnant and due very close to the time of my upcoming wedding. My parents think I should ask her to step down as my maid-of-honor and choose someone else, but I don't want to damage my friendship with her at a time when we both should be our happiest.
I don't want my wedding ruined by not having a maid-of-honor or having her going into labor at the alter, but I can't imagine getting married without her there where she belongs either. HELP! What do I do?
Signed,
Bride-to-Be Friendless?
Dear Friendless?,
It sounds to me as if you have already answered your own question, you are just looking for someone to give you permission to follow your heart and act on it. If this girl is your friend, I'm surprised she has not offered to step aside as your maid-of-honor because I'm sure she has done the math as well.
What you could do is ask her if she thinks it would be a good idea for you to pick a 'stand-in' for her in case the baby has timing issues and shows up at a bad time. Let her pick the stand-in! Even get a photo of her blown up to life size and have a cardboard cut-out made so that in the event your friend cannot be in attendance at your wedding, she can still be represented there.
Do what your heart tells you is the RIGHT thing--even if others think it tacky! If you really want your friend there and can think of no one you'd rather has as your maid-of-honor, then either change the wedding date to insure it goes off without labor pains or run the risk of her not being there because she had a more pressing engagement.
Good luck and congrats on the upcoming nuptials! I wish you a long and happy marriage!
Blissfully,
Laine
Thursday, July 9, 2009
One Trick Pony At Dinner
Dear Laine,
My 2 yr old refuses to eat anything except ravioli. I don't mind feeding it to him once in a while, but three times a day?
I have tried everything I can think of to get him to eat something different, but he would rather be hungry than eat eggs and toast for breakfast or even peanut butter and jelly. HELP!
Signed,
Ravaged Over Ravioli
Dear Ravaged,
Have you consulted his doctor about this? If not, I suggest you do that first to make sure your child won't be missing out on something he really needs by eating ravioli or whatever will be his most favorite favorite food tomorrow. As long as his doctor says it is not harmful to your child, then feed him what he will eat!
Most kids go through this stage at some point. Mine sure did! But her thing was McDonald's Happy Meals! For about a week, that is the only thing she would eat! I could give her other things as long as there was that Happy Meal with it! I eventually got smart and sliced up some carrot sticks and pepper strips and stuck them in a french fry wrapper. She was none the wiser and ate them! As long as they came out of that Happy Meal box, she was good to go!
That phase lasted about a week, then she moved on to something else. Her pediatrician told me as long as she was getting her vitamins every day, it was fine to let her eat and make her own choices about what she ate because she was learning to do that. We both survived that phase of her development!
Good luck! Just remember the toddler age is good training for the teenage years! Learn to out-think him now and it will be much easier to do so when he's 15!
Survived the Toddler Years,
Laine
My 2 yr old refuses to eat anything except ravioli. I don't mind feeding it to him once in a while, but three times a day?
I have tried everything I can think of to get him to eat something different, but he would rather be hungry than eat eggs and toast for breakfast or even peanut butter and jelly. HELP!
Signed,
Ravaged Over Ravioli
Dear Ravaged,
Have you consulted his doctor about this? If not, I suggest you do that first to make sure your child won't be missing out on something he really needs by eating ravioli or whatever will be his most favorite favorite food tomorrow. As long as his doctor says it is not harmful to your child, then feed him what he will eat!
Most kids go through this stage at some point. Mine sure did! But her thing was McDonald's Happy Meals! For about a week, that is the only thing she would eat! I could give her other things as long as there was that Happy Meal with it! I eventually got smart and sliced up some carrot sticks and pepper strips and stuck them in a french fry wrapper. She was none the wiser and ate them! As long as they came out of that Happy Meal box, she was good to go!
That phase lasted about a week, then she moved on to something else. Her pediatrician told me as long as she was getting her vitamins every day, it was fine to let her eat and make her own choices about what she ate because she was learning to do that. We both survived that phase of her development!
Good luck! Just remember the toddler age is good training for the teenage years! Learn to out-think him now and it will be much easier to do so when he's 15!
Survived the Toddler Years,
Laine
Friday, July 3, 2009
Scary movie damages relationship
Dear Laine,
My husband allowed our 6 yr old daughter to watch a 'scary' movie on television the other night. She asked permission to watch it and since it was on a kid-friendly network, he said it would be ok, since it probably wouldn't be that scary. He even sat with her during the entire film. Once the movie was over, she was told to go to bed and she started to cry saying the movie had scared her too much to sleep alone.
I insisted. I told her she was happy watching the movie, that it hadn't scared her that much and she needed to go to bed. During the night, she kept coming into our bed, but each time I put her back in her own.
Today I'm feeling very guilty about doing that. I'm afraid I have scarred her for life! My husband agrees it was the right thing to do and says she will forget all about this in a day or two, but my daughter is not talking to me. She said I didn't care that she was scared and she doesn't love me anymore. Did I do the right thing? And what should I do now to make her love me again?
Signed,
Scared Mama
Dear Scared Mama,
Sounds to me as if you have a very typical 6 yr old child in your house! She is trying to figure out if she is a big girl or not, so watching a movie she thinks is scary seemed like a good idea at the time. It just didn't quite feel the way she thought it would when the credits rolled and it was time to go to sleep--alone!
You did do the right thing, but maybe you went about it in the wrong way. Did you do anything to convince her she was safe in her own bed and that she had nothing to fear? Did you soothe her fears or did you just toss her into her room and expect her to turn her imagination off and sleep?
Parents do the best they can with what they have to work with at the time! If she is having this kind of a reaction to what transpired, the best way to handle it is to talk to her about it. Acknowledge her fears and her hurt feelings. Tell her you may have made a mistake and you want to make sure it doesn't happen again. Tell her she is such a big girl that sometimes you both forget that she isn't as grown up as either of you think. The last thing you want is for her to hide her fear! She needs to know that she can come to you with them--no matter how silly they may be.
If she is still having issues, go through a bedtime routine that includes lots of cuddling and checking under the bed and in the closet and corners. You can even get some 'monster spray' to use. I used a special air freshener, with a homemade label that read "Monster Spray--guaranteed to keep all monsters away for 24 1/2 hours without respraying" and one on the back that read "spray contents under beds, in closets and corners and anywhere else monsters tend to hide. Monsters will not come near a room that smells good." My child was able to let her monster fears go.
Just reassure her that you are there for her when she needs you, but that she is a big girl now and she needs to prove that to herself. Tell her you believe in her! And see if your child doesn't blossom and even start talking to you again.
Good luck!
BTDT,
Laine
My husband allowed our 6 yr old daughter to watch a 'scary' movie on television the other night. She asked permission to watch it and since it was on a kid-friendly network, he said it would be ok, since it probably wouldn't be that scary. He even sat with her during the entire film. Once the movie was over, she was told to go to bed and she started to cry saying the movie had scared her too much to sleep alone.
I insisted. I told her she was happy watching the movie, that it hadn't scared her that much and she needed to go to bed. During the night, she kept coming into our bed, but each time I put her back in her own.
Today I'm feeling very guilty about doing that. I'm afraid I have scarred her for life! My husband agrees it was the right thing to do and says she will forget all about this in a day or two, but my daughter is not talking to me. She said I didn't care that she was scared and she doesn't love me anymore. Did I do the right thing? And what should I do now to make her love me again?
Signed,
Scared Mama
Dear Scared Mama,
Sounds to me as if you have a very typical 6 yr old child in your house! She is trying to figure out if she is a big girl or not, so watching a movie she thinks is scary seemed like a good idea at the time. It just didn't quite feel the way she thought it would when the credits rolled and it was time to go to sleep--alone!
You did do the right thing, but maybe you went about it in the wrong way. Did you do anything to convince her she was safe in her own bed and that she had nothing to fear? Did you soothe her fears or did you just toss her into her room and expect her to turn her imagination off and sleep?
Parents do the best they can with what they have to work with at the time! If she is having this kind of a reaction to what transpired, the best way to handle it is to talk to her about it. Acknowledge her fears and her hurt feelings. Tell her you may have made a mistake and you want to make sure it doesn't happen again. Tell her she is such a big girl that sometimes you both forget that she isn't as grown up as either of you think. The last thing you want is for her to hide her fear! She needs to know that she can come to you with them--no matter how silly they may be.
If she is still having issues, go through a bedtime routine that includes lots of cuddling and checking under the bed and in the closet and corners. You can even get some 'monster spray' to use. I used a special air freshener, with a homemade label that read "Monster Spray--guaranteed to keep all monsters away for 24 1/2 hours without respraying" and one on the back that read "spray contents under beds, in closets and corners and anywhere else monsters tend to hide. Monsters will not come near a room that smells good." My child was able to let her monster fears go.
Just reassure her that you are there for her when she needs you, but that she is a big girl now and she needs to prove that to herself. Tell her you believe in her! And see if your child doesn't blossom and even start talking to you again.
Good luck!
BTDT,
Laine
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
It's a party unless the family shows up!
Dear Laine,
I want to give a party for my husband's birthday. The trouble is he has 3 siblings and each sibling has a spouse. Two of the three spouses are really annoying (loud, antagonistic, etc.) The other one sits in a corner, complains about the temperature of the wine or how she doesn't drink certain brands of soda and then always leaves after a couple of hours at our house claiming that they have to go feed their cat.
Because I wanted this party to be special for my husband, I ONLY invited the people he enjoys being with after he commented that he had a really hard time with a couple of the spouses at the last party.
Now, I am wondering if I should have invited everyone and to heck with it. I'm feeling kind of guilty for leaving the annoying ones out, because I would feel bad if I found out there was a party and I wasn't invited. SO...What should I do?
Signed,
Party Pooper
Dear Party Pooper,
Ask yourself this...if those same people were not related to you by an accident of birth or by marriage, would you even consider inviting them to your party? If the answer is YES, then maybe you should go ahead and bite the bullet and invite them. I have a feeling the answer is more along the lines of "oh HELL no!" though, isn't it??
This is supposed to be a celebration!! A PARTY!! Kinda hard to have either of those going on when there are people who annoy the T-livin' CRAP out of you there doing just that and to add insult to injury, you have to know they are only there because they are 'family'!! I say invite ONLY those people who are special to your husband! Make this one about HIM, not them!
If they get all knicker knotted over not being invited and want to know WHY, that is an easy fix as well. First make sure they REALLY wanna know and then TELL THEM! Say this, "Because you are as annoying as hell and we didn't want to spend such a happy day around you, THAT'S WHY!!" Trust me, a tad bit of honesty will do one of two things---they will either get so pissed off that they never speak to you again OR they will take it as a hint that they need to fix their personality defects and will become the kind of people you don't cringe at the thought of seeing at a funeral! Either way, it's a WIN/WIN for you!
Look, they call it a family TREE for a reason---sometimes to save the entire thing, you have to lop off the dead wood!! Just because someone happens to be born or marries into the same family doesn't mean you have to endure them at every family gathering!
Good luck, and be sure to let me know how it goes for you!
That's my plugged nickel's worth on the topic,
Laine
I want to give a party for my husband's birthday. The trouble is he has 3 siblings and each sibling has a spouse. Two of the three spouses are really annoying (loud, antagonistic, etc.) The other one sits in a corner, complains about the temperature of the wine or how she doesn't drink certain brands of soda and then always leaves after a couple of hours at our house claiming that they have to go feed their cat.
Because I wanted this party to be special for my husband, I ONLY invited the people he enjoys being with after he commented that he had a really hard time with a couple of the spouses at the last party.
Now, I am wondering if I should have invited everyone and to heck with it. I'm feeling kind of guilty for leaving the annoying ones out, because I would feel bad if I found out there was a party and I wasn't invited. SO...What should I do?
Signed,
Party Pooper
Dear Party Pooper,
Ask yourself this...if those same people were not related to you by an accident of birth or by marriage, would you even consider inviting them to your party? If the answer is YES, then maybe you should go ahead and bite the bullet and invite them. I have a feeling the answer is more along the lines of "oh HELL no!" though, isn't it??
This is supposed to be a celebration!! A PARTY!! Kinda hard to have either of those going on when there are people who annoy the T-livin' CRAP out of you there doing just that and to add insult to injury, you have to know they are only there because they are 'family'!! I say invite ONLY those people who are special to your husband! Make this one about HIM, not them!
If they get all knicker knotted over not being invited and want to know WHY, that is an easy fix as well. First make sure they REALLY wanna know and then TELL THEM! Say this, "Because you are as annoying as hell and we didn't want to spend such a happy day around you, THAT'S WHY!!" Trust me, a tad bit of honesty will do one of two things---they will either get so pissed off that they never speak to you again OR they will take it as a hint that they need to fix their personality defects and will become the kind of people you don't cringe at the thought of seeing at a funeral! Either way, it's a WIN/WIN for you!
Look, they call it a family TREE for a reason---sometimes to save the entire thing, you have to lop off the dead wood!! Just because someone happens to be born or marries into the same family doesn't mean you have to endure them at every family gathering!
Good luck, and be sure to let me know how it goes for you!
That's my plugged nickel's worth on the topic,
Laine
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Bedknobs Before Broomsticks
Dear Laine,
My husband says I'm not being a good wife because I don't always make the bed when we get up in the morning. I have kids to feed, lunches to pack, pets to walk and I have to find time to toss in a load of laundry, and get myself ready for work. I say so what if I don't make the bed every morning. He says it only takes a minute and I should make time for it. What do you say?
Signed,
Bed Tired
Dear Bed Tired,
My first question is what is your husband doing while you are feeding kids, walking dogs, packing lunches and loading laundry? Sounds to me as if he needs a rude awakening to what life is really like in his own house! Does he think those things get done by magic? He is taking you for granted! Put a stop to that!
I told my husband very early in our marriage that if he didn't like the way I did something, to do it himself. Shut him up real fast! He learned to not only like the way I do things, but to LOVE it, if for no other reason than he didn't have to do it himself!
Honey, your husband is in dire need of a lesson in respect! Give him one! Sit him down tonight and tell him that starting tomorrow morning, you will make your bed--but only your side of it! Tell him from now on you will pack only your lunch and wash only your clothes. Let HIM deal with the children, the pets, and those other things he takes for granted you will do. When he gets a full appreciation for what you deal with on a daily basis, he will either help out (preferred response) or at least shut up!
I wish you luck! Be sure to let me know how it works out for you.
Respectfully,
Laine
My husband says I'm not being a good wife because I don't always make the bed when we get up in the morning. I have kids to feed, lunches to pack, pets to walk and I have to find time to toss in a load of laundry, and get myself ready for work. I say so what if I don't make the bed every morning. He says it only takes a minute and I should make time for it. What do you say?
Signed,
Bed Tired
Dear Bed Tired,
My first question is what is your husband doing while you are feeding kids, walking dogs, packing lunches and loading laundry? Sounds to me as if he needs a rude awakening to what life is really like in his own house! Does he think those things get done by magic? He is taking you for granted! Put a stop to that!
I told my husband very early in our marriage that if he didn't like the way I did something, to do it himself. Shut him up real fast! He learned to not only like the way I do things, but to LOVE it, if for no other reason than he didn't have to do it himself!
Honey, your husband is in dire need of a lesson in respect! Give him one! Sit him down tonight and tell him that starting tomorrow morning, you will make your bed--but only your side of it! Tell him from now on you will pack only your lunch and wash only your clothes. Let HIM deal with the children, the pets, and those other things he takes for granted you will do. When he gets a full appreciation for what you deal with on a daily basis, he will either help out (preferred response) or at least shut up!
I wish you luck! Be sure to let me know how it works out for you.
Respectfully,
Laine
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