Scary movie damages relationship

Dear Laine,
My husband allowed our 6 yr old daughter to watch a 'scary' movie on television the other night. She asked permission to watch it and since it was on a kid-friendly network, he said it would be ok, since it probably wouldn't be that scary. He even sat with her during the entire film. Once the movie was over, she was told to go to bed and she started to cry saying the movie had scared her too much to sleep alone.
I insisted. I told her she was happy watching the movie, that it hadn't scared her that much and she needed to go to bed. During the night, she kept coming into our bed, but each time I put her back in her own.
Today I'm feeling very guilty about doing that. I'm afraid I have scarred her for life! My husband agrees it was the right thing to do and says she will forget all about this in a day or two, but my daughter is not talking to me. She said I didn't care that she was scared and she doesn't love me anymore. Did I do the right thing? And what should I do now to make her love me again?
Signed,
Scared Mama

Dear Scared Mama,
Sounds to me as if you have a very typical 6 yr old child in your house! She is trying to figure out if she is a big girl or not, so watching a movie she thinks is scary seemed like a good idea at the time. It just didn't quite feel the way she thought it would when the credits rolled and it was time to go to sleep--alone!
You did do the right thing, but maybe you went about it in the wrong way. Did you do anything to convince her she was safe in her own bed and that she had nothing to fear? Did you soothe her fears or did you just toss her into her room and expect her to turn her imagination off and sleep?
Parents do the best they can with what they have to work with at the time! If she is having this kind of a reaction to what transpired, the best way to handle it is to talk to her about it. Acknowledge her fears and her hurt feelings. Tell her you may have made a mistake and you want to make sure it doesn't happen again. Tell her she is such a big girl that sometimes you both forget that she isn't as grown up as either of you think. The last thing you want is for her to hide her fear! She needs to know that she can come to you with them--no matter how silly they may be.
If she is still having issues, go through a bedtime routine that includes lots of cuddling and checking under the bed and in the closet and corners. You can even get some 'monster spray' to use. I used a special air freshener, with a homemade label that read "Monster Spray--guaranteed to keep all monsters away for 24 1/2 hours without respraying" and one on the back that read "spray contents under beds, in closets and corners and anywhere else monsters tend to hide. Monsters will not come near a room that smells good." My child was able to let her monster fears go.
Just reassure her that you are there for her when she needs you, but that she is a big girl now and she needs to prove that to herself. Tell her you believe in her! And see if your child doesn't blossom and even start talking to you again.
Good luck!

BTDT,
Laine