It's a party unless the family shows up!

Dear Laine,

I want to give a party for my husband's birthday. The trouble is he has 3 siblings and each sibling has a spouse. Two of the three spouses are really annoying (loud, antagonistic, etc.) The other one sits in a corner, complains about the temperature of the wine or how she doesn't drink certain brands of soda and then always leaves after a couple of hours at our house claiming that they have to go feed their cat.
Because I wanted this party to be special for my husband, I ONLY invited the people he enjoys being with after he commented that he had a really hard time with a couple of the spouses at the last party.
Now, I am wondering if I should have invited everyone and to heck with it. I'm feeling kind of guilty for leaving the annoying ones out, because I would feel bad if I found out there was a party and I wasn't invited. SO...What should I do?

Signed,

Party Pooper



Dear Party Pooper,

Ask yourself this...if those same people were not related to you by an accident of birth or by marriage, would you even consider inviting them to your party? If the answer is YES, then maybe you should go ahead and bite the bullet and invite them. I have a feeling the answer is more along the lines of "oh HELL no!" though, isn't it??
This is supposed to be a celebration!! A PARTY!! Kinda hard to have either of those going on when there are people who annoy the T-livin' CRAP out of you there doing just that and to add insult to injury, you have to know they are only there because they are 'family'!! I say invite ONLY those people who are special to your husband! Make this one about HIM, not them!



If they get all knicker knotted over not being invited and want to know WHY, that is an easy fix as well. First make sure they REALLY wanna know and then TELL THEM! Say this, "Because you are as annoying as hell and we didn't want to spend such a happy day around you, THAT'S WHY!!" Trust me, a tad bit of honesty will do one of two things---they will either get so pissed off that they never speak to you again OR they will take it as a hint that they need to fix their personality defects and will become the kind of people you don't cringe at the thought of seeing at a funeral! Either way, it's a WIN/WIN for you!



Look, they call it a family TREE for a reason---sometimes to save the entire thing, you have to lop off the dead wood!! Just because someone happens to be born or marries into the same family doesn't mean you have to endure them at every family gathering!



Good luck, and be sure to let me know how it goes for you!


That's my plugged nickel's worth on the topic,
Laine